Precious Time
by not done baking
Summary: What if Edward never called and Jacob kissed Bella? They start a relationship, but Jake harms Bella. Then, as if things weren't hard enough, Edward comes back. set midNew Moon.
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything here. I'm sure you can figure out who owns them. c: Unless you don't recognize it and I don't give credit for it… then I own it.

**Precious Time**

**Summary: **The phone never rings, Jake and Bella kiss. A JB relationship explored.

**Precious Time; Chapter One**

_I don't want to argue about who is the victim  
Cause maybe we both got burned.  
I don't want to talk about who is the traitor  
Cause both of our loyalties turned.  
I don't want to fight about who is the liar  
Cause there's too many ways to lie.  
I don't want to hear about who is the winner  
Cause we both know it's a tie._

When Jake's lips touched mine the experience was something I wasn't expecting. They were incredibly warm on mine, a sensation that was unfamiliar and yet unbelievably welcoming.

The hole inside my chest was filling up, I could feel the sides being sewn back together as Jake pulled me closer his hands now cupping my neck and cheeks. It was as if the hole was never there, like it would never come back no matter what. The heat spread through me, as much as I wanted to continue the kiss I couldn't, "Jake, I don't know."

When I looked up at him his eyes looked fresh, like the way the greenery always looked after a good, long clean rain, but disappointment clouded over them as he saw that was unsure of our current predicament.

"He's not coming back, Bells," his too warm hands brushed hair out of my face.

I knew that, He was never coming back. He didn't care about me anymore, "I know, Jake," his arms were still on mine and even though I felt it was wrong I leaned into his embrace, he willingly held me there.

"Then stop pretending He his, He's not here, Bells, but I am," there was truth in what he said, too much truth. "That kiss, did you feel that?" I had felt that, the feeling had been amazing and yet I didn't like it. The disappearing sore meant that He truly was gone and the worst part was the lack of pain meant I was okay with that.

But I couldn't be okay with it, could I?

My voice was quiet and stuck in my throat when I spoke, "Yeah, I felt that," I paused, looking directly in front of me, I spoke to his chest, "It was nice," I saw his chest heave with contained laughter, not believing my lie, "Okay, it was more than nice."

"Than don't deny it Bella, we can be together," he tipped my head up and looked into my eyes, I felt as if they were trying to dig into my soul. I looked away; I didn't want him to see into my soul. Not right now.

A part of me did want to be with Jake, to feel loved again. To know that I had someone I could turn to when I needed to talk, someone who would listen to me. I knew that Jake could be that person, I also knew I couldn't be that person for him. And I tried to tell him that.

"Jake, I can't be there for you. Not fully, never one hundred per cent. It's not fair to you, a part of me-" my voice broke and the tears escaped from my eyes, "A part of me is still His, it still belongs to Edward," I broke out into sobs as I said his name and Jake held me close.

He brought me over to the couch and wrapped his arms around my entire body, cradling me in his too warm embrace. The feeling of being needed by someone was strong in the room and the aroma made me feel guilty; I wanted so desperately to give into him. To be with Jake and to begin my life again, but it just wouldn't be fair to him. It wouldn't be fair to deprive him of a whole person.

Because that's what I wasn't, I wasn't complete. When he left me in the woods a part of me stayed there and here I was now, mangled and incomplete, "I want to make you whole again, Bella. I want to do that for you. _Let _me do that for you," he brushed the tears off my face, his warmth making the tears seem searing hot, "You can't live the rest of your life like this. It'll kill you and if you push me away, I won't be there to save you the next time."

His face was peering into mine and it was hard to remember the reasons why I just couldn't be with him. But the fact was, that they were poor reasons. They were excuses really; did I have hope that he would return? Because Jake was right, He was never coming back. Because he didn't care about me, he didn't love me. He took my heart, held it carefully and when he was through with it, he it ripped into shreds in front of my face.

And here was Jake, willing to take me as I was, broken and in desperate need of mending, and he wanted to fix the whole that he created. Jake wanted to fix my heart and I was going to let him. I had to at least try, "Maybe, Jake, but I can't promise you anything," I gave him a smile, "I don't know if I can be fixed."

"Well, I want to help you find out."

"Sure," I could give him at least that. I owed him at least that. I could give him a chance, maybe it would do me good, start fresh. Jake and I may not be the real thing, but he was there for me and that's what mattered.

I sighed, "Charlie will be home soon," I commented. I had lost track of time, but Harry had said he would be home before seven and it was already getting dark outside, "You might want to be home for your father," the feeling of Jake's hand running through my hair was unnerving and yet I didn't want him to stop. But I let my common sense speak, "He probably doesn't want to be alone."

I could feel Jake's posture crumble beneath me, "You're right. Walk me to my car?"

"Yeah," I got up first, our hands still connected. We reached his car in silence and he turned around expectantly, "Um, Jake, do you think I could come over tomorrow? To talk?"

"Of course," another awkward silence ensued.

"Um, do you want me to call fir-" his lips were on mine and the warm feeling from before spread through me. His lips were on fire, even in the cold outside, I was wrapped in his embrace, my arms on his chest, it was like insulation. When he pulled back his smile was brighter then the porch light, the only light I could see.

"You don't need to call first," he smiled and kissed the top of my head, "Good night, Bells."

My head was floating above the clouds as my stomach played with dolphins in the Pacific. Despite this, I slept well.


	2. Chapter Two

**Precious Time; Chapter Two**

_Cut it out, drop it, count me out - baby stop it!  
Life is too short, so why waste precious time!  
Life is too short, so why waste precious time!_

When I woke up it was foggy and the clouds were ominous, just another day in Forks, except for one thing. There was a Bella Swan whose gaping emotional hole was healing itself and she was okay with it. I was okay with it, I wasn't planning any extreme events in order to hear a certain someone's voice. And it felt right, I finally felt like a normal eighteen year old, albeit an eighteen year old who was going out with a werewolf.

Was that what we were doing? Were we boyfriend and girlfriend now? It hadn't been so confusing last time.

Charlie had left a note on the table explaining that he was going fishing with some of the guys from La Push. We were all trying to get our lives back in gear, fall in to the normal pace of things.

I was getting ready to leave for Jake's house when I heard a light knock on the door, it was Alice, "Hey," I said softly. I had forgotten all about the past few days events.

"I saw what happened," she looked down at her shoes, I'd never seen Alice lost for words, "I hope you two can be happy," her words sounded forced, like she didn't mean them at all.

"I hope I can be happy, too."

"Do you want me to tell Edward?" Did I want Edward to know about Jacob and me? Edward would probably find out that he was a werewolf, which meant that I would never be safe.

And Edward wouldn't stand for that.

"No, not just yet. I wanna find a way to tell him myself," Alice seemed to understand that.

"I should go now, Jacob is getting anxious. I'll keep an eye on you, Bella, and we'll probably come up in a few years to check up on you. See how things are going," she trailed off. The moment of silence bounced between us, echoing off the trees. And then she spring through the door and embraced me in the biggest Alice hug imaginable, "I'm really gonna miss you, Bella!"

I laughed despite the situation, "I'm gonna miss you too Alice," and I hugged her back.

We promised to keep in touch, I didn't want to talk to Edward, not yet, but Alice had become a dear friend to me and it wasn't her idea to leave me in Forks.

After Alice left I sat down at the table and tucked away that portion of my life.

It began to rain as I neared Jake's house and the waves were higher than ever, it reminded me of a day that seemed forever ago but was really only a few days ago. So much had happened in those few days.

Jake was waiting outside for me, it appeared as if he had been waiting for a while, since he was completely drenched, "Hey," I smiled. It hurt my face, but it felt nice. He ran over to me and hugged me, ignoring the fact that he was soaked with rainwater and if we didn't take this meeting inside soon I would be soaked to.

He kissed my forehead and my face, clearing it of the raindrops, "You're happy to see me?"

"Yeah, I'm always happy to see you, I always have been," it was nice to have someone care about me in that way again.

"Can we go for a walk?" I had heard similar words before and remembered what they had led to. I motioned toward the wooded road ahead, I wanted to be somewhere quite for this long talk, "We should talk… or I should talk and you should listen," oh yeah, this wasn't awkward.

"Of course, Bells, whatever you want," he took my hand in his hand once again I was reminded of his warmth, not only physically but emotionally. I really hoped that I would be able to put the past truly behind me and care for him as much as he did for me.

I could forget the past. I could forget the past.

We had walked only a few feet into the woods before I started talking, I took a deep breath; this scene was all to familiar, "Jake, seeing you was never the reason to fix up the motorbikes," I didn't look at him when I said so I had no clue what his reaction was, I just needed to get it all out before I lost my steam and my courage.

"My friend and I went to Port Angeles one night, to see a movie. Well…" I went into the story of what happened that night, it seemed so long ago, like years had passed. I had aged, my teenage years were forever behind me and it was useless to try and get them back, "…I thought that maybe just hearing his voice would make it easier for me, even if I did make that promise to him," I smiled at myself. The one thing he asked me to do I was unable to.

"Promise?"

I never had explained that night to Jake, I sat down against a tree and he followed and I began to bring up the memories I had pushed so far into the fissure of my mind. I told him what had happened in my months of darkness, what I remembered, however, everything I had done those months had been so monotonous that one day- one week really blended into the other.

"So, riding the bike, jumping off the cliff was all just to hear his voice?" When put like that my thoughts that I was crazy were confirmed. I nodded meekly though. He seemed to digest that for a while, it made me nervous, was the fact that it was never about him specifically enough to make him change his mind about us?

"But, Jake, I am glad that things turned out the way they did," I took a chance and snuck a look at Jacob's face but I couldn't read the emotion, "Jake?"

He took his time answering me, "You still like me best, right?"

I smiled at the reference, "Better than all the guys _and _girls. And you're still sort of beautiful."

"Well, I think your really beautiful," he leaned down to kiss me and that's when the perfect beginning of my new life was shattered.

Jacob growled suddenly and bent forward in a predatorial stance, he glared over my head and snarled at whatever was there. Slowly, as if trying to get past a poisonous snake I turned around to see a creature much deadlier than a snake.

Victoria.


	3. Chapter Three

**Precious Time; Chapter Three**

_You were on a liquid diet, you were sure you had to try it  
And you lost all your pounds._  
_The doctor's on vacation, so you took the medication_  
_And wound up in lost and found._  
_So we took a trip to Paris_  
_Cause you swore that it would scare us out of our swift decline._  
_All that I remember bout those days in that September_  
_Is the "merci" and the wine._

"That didn't take long?" her voice slipped out of her, not nearly as sweet or velvety as I was used to, "Did you just give up on Eddy?"

"He left me. He didn't want me."

"Oh, that's what you think. He really just wanted to keep you safe, I can't wait to see his face when finds out you were dating a werewolf-" she sniffed the air "-a young werewolf at that. I knew I could count on you to find the most dangerous alternative to Edward," sarcasm dripped from her voice. But I couldn't focus on her sarcastic comments, she was talking about me in the past tense, "I just don't know how I'll tell him."

"Bella, go home," the velvet voice was there again in my head, drawing me back to a darker time.

"Oh God," I turned to Jake and he was already shaking from his concentration to not change.

He turned to me and mimicked his words, "Bells, go home."

"No, I'm staying here," he fell to the ground and clutched his stomach, a roar escaped him and I jumped back.

"Go home, Isabella, now," his hand was reaching out to me pointing towards the trail we had left behind.

"This is just precious," Victoria was now leaning against a tree, watching our scene with as much ease as someone would watch an afternoon soap opera.

"I'm not leaving you here, you aren't even part of this," I didn't need Jake getting hurt because of me.

"Don't be irrational, Isabella, I can handle this," I was being irrational, "You need to leave now, I don't want you getting hurt."

"Oh, but by who?" Victoria's voice was dripping with amusement. Jacob snarled, I had seen this before but I was paralyzed by fear, "That would be wonderful to tell Edward, that _you _were the one who killed poor little Bella… of course, I would like the pleasure of killing her myself. But, whatever is more brutal to Edward is fine with me."

"Leave-" he had already taken werewolf form, his arms were stretched out to me trying to push me aside. He hadn't meant to change so quickly. His claws ripped through my stomach and I passed out onto the forest floor.

&

When I first woke up all I could sense was the intense pain running through my side, there was no night or day, silence or noise, only the incredible pain searing through my side. "Jake?" My voice was hoarse from not being used. A sigh came from across the room and I assumed it was Jacob, "Jake? What happened?"

"She's gone, Bells," it took my brain awhile to commute the meaning of his words. Victoria. He had killed her.

"Good job," I laughed and it hurt. Jacob, a new werewolf had killed a vampire that had evaded the Cullens, "Why does my side hurt so much?"

"I told you to leave," my eyes adjusted to the half-light of his room, the bed still taking up most of it. Jacob was sitting in a corner against the wall, his knees pulled to his chest, as if protecting him. His face was so dark.

"What happened, Jake?"

"You didn't listen."

"Yeah, I tend not to. What-" I touched my stomach, the shirt was sticky and warm. My senses slowly came back, "Oh, god. Jake, what's going to happen?"

"I don't know, you didn't listen to me."

"Yes, we've been through this," why wasn't I in pain? "Did you tell someone?"

"No, who am I going to tell? I can't tell anyone."

"Jacob, if I die because of this how are you going to feel than," I felt pathetic yelling from my horizontal position, but I continued, "You need to get someone over here… I don't want to die."

The silence was broken with the door slamming open, at least as far as it could before it hit the door, "What the hell did you do, Jacob?"

I turned my head, dizzy from the smell of blood, it was Sam and Emily trailing close behind with a soft black bag. I willed it to be medical supplies.

"It was an accident, she didn't listen to me," he was falling apart; I couldn't believe this. He had always been so strong. Light was falling through the window now and it hit Emily's face at an angle, her scar was illuminated and I remembered how it happened.

That's how I was going to look, it was unfortunate I would have a scar, but it meant I would live. My muscles relaxed with relief, I hadn't even realized I had been so tense.

Sam grabbed Jacob by the arm and nearly ripped him out of the room, I was angry with Jacob for losing control and falling apart but I still hoped that Sam didn't do anything drastic to him. I needed my boyfriend in one piece… was he still my boyfriend? Was he ever my boyfriend? We hadn't had time to clarify anything, thing's were moving so fast.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. I survived," Emily smiled at me, well at least half of her did. I smiled at her, grinding my teeth against the pain that was now showing itself, "The werewolf's bite has a natural anesthetic; so their victims don't feel the pain. When wild they can be brutal, killing humans and such, but even still they are kind, deep down inside. It's just the confused ones that kill humans."

"Jacob didn't attack me, Victoria showed up and he told me to leave, but I didn't listen. He didn't mean to morph," I pushed my feet against the bed, failing to ease the pain, "He didn't mean to hurt me."

"Sam didn't mean to hurt me either, but it happens when your in love with a werewolf," she sat down next to me on the large bed and began cleaning the scrapes, I couldn't see them but I could tell she was cleaning a large area of my stomach and side. I thought that by giving in to Jacob pursuing me I would stop trying deadly stunts- but it only hurt me more. In typical Bella fashion, of course.

I replayed Emily's words in my head, was I in love with Jacob? Certainly I cared for him and he had a place in my heart, but did I _love him_ love him? Did I love him like I loved- him? I could never care or love for someone as I cared for- Edward. But, maybe Jake was as good as I would be able to get. And I was okay with that.

"You should stay off your feet for awhile," she paused and I opened my eyes to meet hers, "I'd take you to the hospital expect your father would find out… and I don't know how happy Chief Swan would be if he found out you were attacked by a bear on our property. We probably wouldn't see you again," her disposition was almost disgusting, but I couldn't hate her. I admired Emily really; she conquered everything to be with her true love, where mine had never loved me at all.

I smiled and held back a laugh, I knew it would hurt, "Do you know where Sam took Jake?"

"They're just off in the woods, I think. Sam thought that Jake just needed a good scolding, he doesn't see that he was in the same position only a little while ago. Some male ego thing," Emily smiled and continued to clean at my wound, being around Emily was calming; I didn't have to worry about supplying my side of the conversation.

I had become very good at just sitting and listening to someone.

"They should be back soon, once Sam realizes how dense he's being," she pulled gauze out of her bag and helped me stand up in the hallway, "Hold your shirt," I did as I was told, the pressure from the gauze felt nice against the open wound but the stretching of my arms hurt my torso. I wasn't sure how I was going to drive home or more importantly get to the car.

"I can come over to your house and change your bandages and help you out, if that's all right with you. I don't know how handy Jake is with bandages," she tucked the end of the gauze underneath the layers. Smiling the whole time.

Jake and Sam walked back into the hallway; Jake was holding his head like a shamed puppy. I felt bad for him, he wasn't the one in the wrong. He had told me to leave and I hadn't.

"It's okay, Jake, I'll survive," I took a deep breath and cringed, "Really, I've had worse," the hallway became crowded with people and with emotions. Jake's endless guilt, Sam's anger, my hopelessness and Emily's cheerfulness already knowing how things would end up with Jake and me.

Or at least how they should end up. It didn't look like I was ever going to have a normal relationship.

"Um, maybe Jake should take me home now," I crossed my arms over my stomach which was only slightly uncomfortable, "It's kinda late and Charlie's going to worry where I've been. I'm gonna have a hard enough time trying to come up with a reason why I can barely walk."

"I don't think Jake should be around you right now, Bella," Sam decided.

"It wasn't his fault, he told me to leave. Did you listen to what happened?"

Sam stood in front of Jake and looked directly at me, "It doesn't matter, he knows he shouldn't be around you. He knew what the consequences were and he still continued to see you."

"He killed Victoria! Isn't that enough of a reason?" Sam looked taken aback, I had burst out, but apparently he didn't know what Jake had accomplished.

Emily smiled, "You never listen, do you?" obviously referring to a time from before.

"We all have our faults," Sam was still obviously startled from the news.

"I think we can go now," Emily grabbed Sam's hand and led him out the door, "I'll stop by your house tomorrow to help you out," once they were out the door I could hear Emily chide Sam for not listening to people and for making assumptions too quickly and to remember that he had been in Jake's place before.

"Jake, I should have listened to you," I wanted him to say something, anything. I wanted him to go back to the old Jake.

"Let's get you home," he took my hand gently, "Can you walk?"

"Yeah, I'll just need help getting in," we walked slowly to the car, his hand was warm in mine and quivering slightly, not from a prospective change but from shock and fear. We reached the car and he put his hands on my waist, wanting to lift me into the car, my breath was pushed out of me due to the pain.

His breath caught as well, anger towards himself, he still thought he was the cause of this, "I'm so sorry, Bells," I wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault but I knew that it wouldn't help. His hands went to my hips and he lifted me from there, it still hurt but not as much.

"Do you know how long this will take to heal?" I asked once he buckled me in, I couldn't reach over to grab the belt the twisting hurting me.

"I don't know, I'll ask Emily tonight and tell you tomorrow. Or you can ask her tomorrow when she comes over. It shouldn't take too long, we aren't meant to harm," he left out the word 'humans.'

"Jake, you know your not the one who did it, right," turned towards him, at least my face did, "It's not like your thinking to coherently when you're a werewolf, right?"

"That's the thing, my head is clear, it's just like I'm not there to control my actions. The only thing I feel when I'm in that form is hatred. We were created to be animals; we were created to be hunters. To be hunters of the leeches," I drew my breath in, there was that word.

The word I hated so much, not only because it was rude but also because of the memories it brought up. And it wasn't the bad memories I hated so much, it was the good memories that were so hard to bear. All the good memories that were all lies. No matter what Alice said.

"I don't blame you, Jake, please keep that in mind."

The drive back home was silent. It was the loudest silence I had ever been in and I didn't like it one bit, there was no comfort to be found in it like some say. Jake slowed down in front of my house and helped me to the front door, "Bells, um, maybe I shouldn't come around for a few days."

I grasped the doorknob for the support as my knees quivered, "Jake, you know that's not necessary. I told you-"

"I just need to sort a few things out, I'll call before I come over, Bella."


	4. Chapter Four

**Precious Time; Chapter Four**

_ Cut it out, drop it, count me out - baby stop it  
Life is too short, so why waste precious time  
Life is too short, so why waste  
Precious time, precious time, precious time  
Oh, precious time  
Life is too short, so why waste precious time_

Emily came over every day when I needed her to; she changed the bandages and helped me wash my hair. She said it would take months for the wounds to heal fully and to never expect my stomach to look the same, the scratches on my arm should heal fully though, I had moved my arm soon enough that Jake's nails hadn't gotten too deep.

I unceremoniously said good-bye to all two-piece swimsuits; it was side affect I could live with.

Two weeks had passed and I hadn't heard or seen Jacob, Emily gave me updates but they were all dire. He was still taking the whole incident so personally even after I told him (through Emily) countless times that it wasn't. He had cut himself off from the entire village, living in seclusion in the nearby forest.

I had told Charlie that I had fallen down the stairs and hurt my back; I just had to make sure that Charlie never saw any of the bandages. I didn't really have to explain Emily coming over, even after coming out of my zombie phase things were never the same with Angela and Jessica. I guess in Charlie's mind it made sense that instead of explaining everything I would just go a make new friends, I didn't want to be bothered with his questions so I didn't ask.

Life slowly went back to normal, not pre-zombie normal. But normal enough for me to go to school again and Emily to stop coming over every morning to help me shower and change the bandages.

But, Jacob never called.

I called over there at least once a day and on the bad days- well, much more frequently than once.

"Is he okay?" Emily had come over after school, not just to help me with the bandages (now just a precautionary, wouldn't want to accidentally rip the scabs open and have them bleed everywhere at school) but also just to talk. It would be hard to explain everything that had happened to anyone at school.

"He's fine, Bella, as fine as one can be. Sam was like this for months before I got through to him," thanks for the spark of hope.

"Can you drive me down there?" staying in Forks obviously wasn't helping the situation and I did need to talk to him again. What was the worse that he could do, ignore me? Attack me again?

And what exactly did I want to talk to him about, did I want to get back together with him, be his girlfriend again? I wasn't sure about the relationship to begin with and maybe this was just a sign that things couldn't work out between us. That Jake being over protective of me and me being so stubborn would always end badly.

But even if romantically things didn't work out between us we could still be friends, right? But, could things ever be the same between us now that we had acknowledged our feelings?

And did I ever really have feelings for Jake? Sure, he was a great friend and he got me through a really hard time, but did I feel the same way as I felt about- Edward?

The answer was simple, the question unnecessary.

I could never feel the same way about someone else as I had about Edward. There would never be another Edward in my life, there never could be. A large part of my heart was still Edward's and always would be Edward's.

Certainly, Jake had a piece of my heart, but not in the same way Edward did. If you were in a burning house and a fireman rescued you from certain death, he would have a piece of you heart too, right?

"I just want to talk to him."

Emily drove me down to La Push and walked me to the forest behind his garage, "He can tell you're here, he'll be here soon," she smiled at me and left. And at the moment I was incredibly thankful for everyone at La Push, it was as if they were my guardian angels; whenever my life got really tough one of them was always there to help me through it. I wasn't sure I would ever be able to thank them properly.

The trees began to rustle and I could hear someone's footsteps coming close, "Jake?"

"Bells, you shouldn't be here. I don't want to hurt you," his face had lost the color and he had lost too much weight. Instead of looking like the man he had grown into he looked like he had only months ago, except, somehow, more awkward.

"What are the chances of that happening again?" I tried to laugh, even though we were out in the open I could still feel the tense waves coming off of him, "You killed Victoria, it's not like she can come and try and attack me again," I paused again and tried to catch his eye, "There aren't any other vampires out there after me."

"Something will happen, Bells. I can't trust myself anymore," he was staying in the shadows of the trees, as if the sun would hurt him. As if it would remind him of the human world he was missing out on.

"I trust you, don't leave me," my entire body went cold and dry. _Don't leave me. _It was happening again. I would endure more pain, just like last time. Except no one would pull me back up.

"It's better for you, Bells. At least for now, maybe in a few years, when I get a handle on things," he reached out into the light and ran his hand down the side of my face. The heat from his hand nearly hurt my chapped cheeks; he was always so warm, even in the dreariest situations and coldest storms, "Sam and Emily worked out, right? Maybe we can too."

He stepped fully into the light and he looked even paler, his eyes looked pained as he slowly bent down placed a chaste kiss on my lips.

"I love you, Bells," he looked at me. Was he waiting for an answer?

I hadn't made up my mind yet.

Before my decision was made he ran back into the wood.

I slowly walked back to Emily's car and I sat down quietly. She looked at me, waiting for me to say something, but I didn't know what to say. I was being left again because I happened to be a danger magnet. It wasn't something I could help.

"Do you want to go home?" Emily asked.

"Yes," I nodded my head slightly, in case my voice was to soft to hear. I could feel my heart breaking again, albeit it didn't hurt as much as last time and I wasn't going to run after Jacob, it still hurt.

Emily dropped me off, the house was still dark so I assumed that Charlie was still out, "Do you want me to stay?"

"No, thanks though, I just need to think for awhile. I'll call you if I want to talk," I got out of the car and before closing the door and heading up to the silent house I turned back to Emily, "Thanks for everything. You've been really kind and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to return that."

"It's not, problem, Bella. I know where you've been. Things will get better," but she didn't believe what she said. And she hadn't been here before, yes, her love had ripped apart her face. But her love hadn't saved her from the heartbreak of another love. She had no clue where I was right now.

I walked through the door, wondering what I was going to do? Could I forget the few moments of happiness I had spent with Jacob? The few moments where the empty pain was forgotten.

The only thing I wanted to do was lie down on my bed, take a large and dangerous dose of pain killer and sleep off the pain and agony of today.

Of course, since my ex-personal Greek God was sitting on my bed, face buried in my pillow, the whole going to sleep part was going to be a problem.

"Edward? What the hell are you doing here?" I was too shocked to be angry. He had promised he would leave me alone and Alice had promised that she wouldn't tell him anything. Did he see it in her mind that she had talked to me?

"Bella? Is that really you?" he stood up and walked over to me but stopped a few feet short. I suppose being away from me for several months caused my scent to be stronger to him- that or the side wound had opened and I hadn't noticed that pain because of my intense emotional pain.

Either seemed plausible.

"Last time I checked it was me," it came out harsher than I had intended, "Sorry."

"No, you have every right to hate me," he said calmly.

I looked at him closely, "I don't hate you," I wasn't the one who had left the relationship. I smiled though, I sounded like a cliché romance movie.

He ignored my comment though, "Rosalie said you were dead," his voice broke at the last word. Did he really care? "Alice said she saw you jump off a cliff."

"Yeah, I did," I said nonchalantly, his jaw tightened but I continued, "Jake saved me," even though his face was made of stone it fell.

"Oh," his pause made me anxious, "That's the wonderful, Isabella," another pause, "Do you love him?" he had made the assumption that Jacob and I were together.

I sighed and chose my words carefully, "I care for him."

"Well, you know what- that's great for you. Very," he searched for the right word, "human." I scoffed and pain ran through my side, a crease marred his perfect face, "Isabella, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing, I need to go to sleep, that's all," I couldn't look in his eyes and lie to him.

I brushed past him on my way to the bed and he stopped me, his hand grabbed my arm and spun me around, "Why do you smell like werewolf, Isabella?"

Pain was ricocheting inside me, I looked down but still couldn't bring myself to lie, "'Cause Jake's a werewolf," I pulled my arm out of his weakened grasp and sat down on the bed, clenching my teeth together. The wounds had definitely opened up again. Maybe Edward would remember the promise he had made to me: to leave me alone forever.

But in typical Edward fashion he didn't. Instead he came over to the bed and looked me in the eye, what was he trying to say? He lifted my shirt and ran his hands over the white bandages, slowly being seeped with red.

"Bella, he bit you?"

"No," I cried out resentfully, he looked at me incredulously and I sighed, "he scratched me."

"Did you have a doctor look at it?"

"What exactly was I going to tell them? Hey, my werewolf boyfriend got attacked by a vampire and in the process scratched me, can I have some stitches and some antiseptic?" even through the pain I managed to get the sarcasm out, "We don't exactly have a doctor specializing in the supernatural now," I added quietly.

"Can I take you to go see Carlisle?"

And although I knew that would mean I would get to see the rest of the Cullen's I wanted to resist, "It's healed now, that isn't necessary."

"It's bleeding, Bella, you can't fool me."

"Are they all at the house?" I was still not accepting his proposal.

"We are a little ways outside of town."

"How little?"

He looked away, "Canada."

I was quiet certain my jaw dropped to my waist and I said the first thing in mind, "As in bacon?"

Edward's lips twitched into a gorgeous half smile (no, mustn't think that way), "No, as in the country."

Duh. Of course.

But his smile was warm and wonderful, just the way I remembered it. No, better. Everything about Edward was better than how I remembered it.

"Please? It would make me feel better."

I felt a headache beginning. What could it hurt though, as much as I trusted Emily I wasn't to sure about her medical skills and who's to say that the wound wasn't going to get infected or I would develop some sort of horrible side effect like horns or a tail, maybe Emily wasn't being honest with me.

"Fine. But I'm doing it for my own good," couldn't let him think I was doing something for him now, could I?

"Finally starting to look out for yourself, I see," his tension decreased and I got up to get a bag packed, who knew how long he was going to have me out and about this time.

"No time like the present, I guess."

"Well, okay, my car is out front," he grabbed my hand and began to lead me out to his car, I pulled back and managed to stop him.

"Oh, by the present I meant like later. I need to go talk to someone, it shouldn't be more than an hour… or two," or four.

"You're going to go talk to Jake," it was a statement, not a question.

"Well, he has a right to know where I'm going. He doesn't think very fondly of you," I wrapped my arms around myself protectively.

"And what do you think?"

The question took me by surprise, what did I think of Edward? Did I still love him? Could I love him again?

I couldn't be sure. He had left, left me here to protect me. He had broken my heart and hadn't cared until he couldn't take it any more. He hadn't even considered how it would affect me, he hadn't realized that I wouldn't bounce back from this.

And yet, I did bounce back, really, I bounced right into Jake's arms. He had been there for me and yet he had also hurt me. And like Edward, he had decided to leave me, but he said that things could work in a few years. He had given our relationship hope instead of just throwing it out to the dogs.

"I don't know Edward."


	5. Chapter Five

**  
**

**Precious Time; Chapter Six**

_You talk on the telephone, long distance to new york or rome  
Some would say you got it made  
Your home is like a fortress, no one comes in but the florist  
The gardener, and the maid  
You call me on the telephone, you say you feel so alone  
Too tired to get dressed and get out  
First you're happy, then you're sad  
Somehow you always hang up mad  
Excuse me if I shout_

I drove down to La Push in a hurry, hoping that Jacob would talk to me. Hoping that I could find him. I opened the door to his house and went over to where his room was, "Jacob?" I timidly opened the door, all the walls that had been knocked down in our relationship were suddenly there again.

"Bella, I want to be alone right now."

I barged into the room, ignoring his plea, "Yeah, that's great. But I don't want you to be alone. You shouldn't be alone through this, Jake. I care about you, I really hate seeing you suffer like this. Especially when you've already been forgiven."

"By you, but not by myself. Bells, I've scarred you, I've permanently damaged you. You shouldn't even forgive me."

I sat down next to him in his bed and held his hand, he didn't grip back, "Jake, I'm not one to hold a grudge. Besides, what's another scar for me? I have a ton of them, these one's will just blend in."

"But it'll remind you of the terrible thing that I did."

"What? Save my life? Kill Victoria? Yeah, that was really terrible of you Jake," I smiled at him, waiting for him to look at me. He did and I was met with his dazzling smile, I sighed in relief, thankful he had seen the light side.

"I don't want to hurt you again, Bells."

"You won't."

"How do you know?" his smile left his face, a gloomy cloud passed back over his eyes.

"Because, I know you Jake. Besides, there aren't any other vampires after me," maybe my spell of bad luck really was over.

"So, you still like me better, even though I hurt you?"

"I like you better than all the guys and the girls, Jake. You're my best friend," I paused and looked to the comforter for answers, "You're my boyfriend."

Jake smiled his wonderful, blinding smile, bent down and kissed me. It was a wonderful kiss, everything with Jake was wonderful because I never had to watch myself around him and, for the most part, he never had to watch himself around me. We could be free to do what ever we want.

Unless of course, your vampire ex boyfriend was waiting at your house to whisk you away to Canada for a doctors appointment.

"Jake," I said against his lips, he had pulled me down onto the bed and I was engulfed in his warm body. If I knew that Edward wouldn't come down to La Push and whisk me away I would have stayed there forever.

"Jake, this isn't the only reason I came down here," he moved away from my mouth and kissed his way along my jaw line and neck, "Jake! Edward came back," I didn't want to introduce the situation like but it did get him to pay attention. Jacob was off of me and across the room (or across the bed) in a matter of seconds, shaking and clenching his hands.

"Calm down, Jacob."

"Why? You get me all happy and then just tell me it's all over? There's your five minutes of happiness, that's all you get!"

I scooted over to him on the bed, wrapping my arms around myself; I was now rather cold from the loss of his body on top of mine, "Jacob, I'm not going back to him. I can't. Not now," I lifted his face up to meet mine, "When I'm with you, the way I feel- it's like nothing I've ever felt before. Ever," emphasizing the 'ever' part, because these feelings truly were new. New and amazing and something I never wanted to give up.

"He might convince you though. Bloodsuckers have those kinds of powers, Bella."

I grabbed his hand again, loving the warmth it gave me, "I know. And, you're right, he might try to convince me to go with him again. He might try to whisk me away, but I won't let that happen, Jacob. I'm with you now. Only you. Forever with you."

"You know what, Bells. Just go, okay."

"Jake, I don't want to leave like this."

His eyes were angry and wouldn't met my own, "I don't know how else for you to leave, Bella. Please just go," I got off of his bed, kissed him on his unresponsive lips and left.

Edward and I were in the car within the half hour; I had left a note for Charlie explaining a spree of the moment camping trip with a group of kids from school.

We sat in silence for the longest time before Edward turned on the radio, I didn't want to mention how much I detested music these days. I didn't want him to know how much him leaving me really affected me.

_Life is so cruel with out you here beside me. Unbreak my heart._

Next.

_If I should stay I would only be in your way so I'll go, but I know I'll think of you every step of the way._

Next.

_I just love you, I don't know why, I just do._

Next.

_The one I love belongs to somebody else, her thoughts are for somebody else._

Next.

_It only hurts when I breathe._

I slammed my hand down onto the player, "Maybe the silence is good." His hand slipped out from under mine and I ignored the feeling running up my arm and through my body.

"I have a Debussy CD, we could listen to that," I pulled my hand away from his and held them in my lap.

"No!" I paused, not wanting to explain my sudden hatred of music, "It's just… I have a headache. Stress, you know? I think I'm actually going to go to sleep," and I did. I managed to sleep all the way to Canada.

"They seem fine, Edward. You know it wasn't necessary to bring her all the way back here."

"I just thought-"

"That you could get her back."

"Maybe there was something wrong with the scratches-" I heard him sigh, "Yeah, I thought I could get her back," Edward's voice was sad.

"It's her choice, Edward."

I shifted and their attention was drawn to me, ""Hi Carlisle."

"Hello Bella. It's nice to see you again, even under these circumstances," I sat up and stretched, I could feel tight new bandages on my torso.

"It's nice to see you too. How are you?"

"Very fine, thank you. Those scratches are healing up very nicely, but there will be scarring. I'll leave the two of you alone to talk."

Carlisle left the room and we sat there alone. The silence drifted slowly around us, I shifted uneasily in my seat, "Bella," Edward grabbed my hands I flinched, but he kept a fast hold on them, "There's not easy way for me to say this."

There was a slight pause, "Generally saying it helps," my voice dripped with sarcasm.

He looked down and took my words to heart, "I want you to come live with me. I want us to be together again. I'll change you and we can get married. We can have our happily ever after."

I stood up and walked across the room, his hands fell limply to his side. I knew what I had to say though, "If you had asked me to marry you- asked to change me- just a few months ago I would of said yes faster than you can run around this house," I saw his eyes light up and it pained me to know I was going to have to stab him in his dead heart, "But a lot of things have changed in the past few months and I've realized something."

Love in a relationship is necessary. And we had that Edward, we have a very beautiful love and it's something I will always cherish and remember. I'm glad that I was able to experience that."

But I also know that you need to have trust, from both sides. And we didn't have that; you couldn't trust yourself not to harm me and you left-"

"Black left you too and he hurt you!" Edward accused.

"Yeah, Jake did hurt me, but- how do you know he left?" I had never told him about any of the conversations Jake and I had had.

"I was watching you two, I didn't want him to hurt you again!"

I raked my fingers through my hair, frizzy from the sleep filled ride up here, "Edward! This is exactly what I'm talking about! You can't just go behind people's back like that! Just because you happen to be some all might vampire doesn't mean you don't have to follow the rules; you don't spy on people if you want them to have your trust!"

"Bella, it was for your own good!"

"How do you know what is for my own good, Edward? Are you really one to be the judge of that?" I turned around and walked up to him, looking him directly in the eye, "You left me, Edward. Crumpled in the woods, if Sam hadn't of found me I would of died out there. And then you didn't come back, for months I was this miserable shell of a person. But Jake was there to pull me out of it!"

Edward shook his head, stubborn as ever, "He hurt you, he ripped apart your skin. You're going to scar."

I lifted up my shirt and shifted the gauze out of the way, "Yeah, he did, but you know, they make medication for that now. Besides, how many people are going to see these?" I put my shirt back down and looked back at Edward, "They haven't found a way to mend broken hearts and for some reason, everyone can see that."

He knew it was a losing battle, "He could hurt you again."

"Then I'll stock up on Merderma. What's a few more scars for someone like me? I'm willing to risk a few more scars, but I don't know how many more broken hearts I can handle."

"Jacob could break your heart."

It was true, Jake could decide one day that he wanted a girlfriend his own age. He wanted a girl who he could hold hands with in the lunchroom. But, Jake had stuck through everything I had gone through. He had accepted me for the damaged goods that I was.

And he had said before that age didn't matter to him.

"I don't think he will."

"You're really sure about this."

"Yeah."

"I hope you can be happy, Isabella."

"Don't worry, Edward," I kissed his cold, hard cheek for the last time, "I already am."

Alice drove me back to my house and made me promise to keep in touch, we switched emails and phones numbers, "You know you can't hide from us, Bella. I can just see where you are or I can get Jasper to hunt you down via the internet," I smiled and promised to write frequently as long as she kept me up to date on everyone else, "Do you want me to tell Edward?"

"Only if you think he can handle it. I'm scared that he won't find someone else, Alice. I'm scared that it'll be like how you said he was before he met me, all dark and depressed all the time."

Alice smiled, her cool hand against my cheek, "Everything will be fine, Bella. Trust me," and of course I did.

I drove to Jake's house in a comfortable silence. The hole I had felt in my chest that I grown so accustomed to was finally whole again. It was a nice feeling.

It was raining La Push and I was getting thoroughly drenched as I waited for someone to answer the door, it was Billy, "Your back from your rendezvous with the bloodsuckers" I ignored his jab, knowing that once things became 'normal' again we would be on good terms again.

"Where's Jake?"

"He's sleeping. There were vampires on La Push and he had a long night, I'll tell him you were here," I knew he wouldn't. I pushed him aside and went to Jake's room, ignoring the guilt I felt for taking advantage of Billy's handicap.

Jake was spread out on his bed, making the room seem even smaller. Once we were on good terms again I would have to ask how he had managed to get the mattress into the room. His dark, smooth back slowly went up and down with the rhythm of his breathing.

The breathing from his real, live lungs. I was certain that if I put my hand onto his back I would feel the steady beat of his heart.

"Jake," I shook his foot gently, "Jacob," I said a little louder.

He rolled over and became tangled in the sheets, his eyes were sleepy, than angry, "Hey," I said softly.

"Aren't you supposed to be with your lover boy?" his tone was sharp, but I didn't argue.

"I think I am."

He smiled, "Really?"

"Well, yeah," I sat down on his bed and stretched out my tired legs, "I like you better than everyone else."

"Even though I hurt you," he propped himself up on his arms.

"Hey, what's a few scars here or there. I don't have a much of bikini figure anyway, no one will ever see them."

He sat up all the way and pulled him onto his lap, "I'd beg to differ on that, I think you would look wonderful in a bikini. You're all wet though."

"It was raining. It's really coming down," he slid open his closet door and pulled out a shirt, he dug deeper into the pile of clothes and found a pair of sweatpants that looked way to small for him.

"These sweatpants might actually kinda fit you."

I went to the bathroom and changed. The sweatpants must have been very old since I didn't have to tie the drawstring all the way around my waist like last time.

"You look nice," Jake commented.

I struck a catwalk pose in his door way, "Really?"

"That's not what I meant- well, you do look nice. You look nice in everything you wear, Bells," he backpeddled.

"Do you need a shovel?"

"What I meant was, your eyes. You look happy."

I smiled and crawled up into the bed in his lap again, "It's probably cause I am happy," he noted my lack of body heat and flipped the light blanket over both of us, his own body heat keeping us both warm.

"I'm happy too, Bells."

"Good."

We sat there for a while, dozing in and out of sleep, trying to find comfortable positions for both of us.

When I woke up the sun was shining brightly in from the small window, we were both on our sides facing each other, my legs thrown over the side of his waist, his arms around me holding me close and working as a pillow.

It was nice thing to wake up to; my boyfriend actually sleeping.

I sighed, content with where I was. I wasn't completely safe, but when was I ever? Jake could hurt me again, but I knew that if it were to happen he would be there for me no matter what. No matter what.

I felt Jake nuzzle my head, I laughed. He lifted my face with his finger, I met his still sleepy eyes, "I love you- but you talk in your sleep."

I laughed again, I had forgotten to mention that to him, "What did I say?"

He smiled, "Lots of things. You kept saying sorry," he kissed my forehead and pulled me closer to him, "And that you were warm."

"Anything else?"

"That you loved me," his smiled brightened.

I sat up on my arms, did I really love Jake?

"Be happy," the velvet voice said to me one last time, fading away for good.

"Yeah, I do, Jake. I love you," I kissed his soft, warm lips. And he kissed back. A kiss with no boundaries.

"I love you, too Bells."

**Owners of the song in order are: **Toni Braxton, Whitney Houston, Five For Fighting, Frank Sinatra, Shania Twain.


	6. Epilogue

**Precious Time; Epilogue**

I had made Jacob a breakfast big enough for four, he had never eaten anything I made before but he swore that he would be coming over to my house for every meal from then on.

I drove back to my house, not quite sure what I saw going to tell Charlie. His car was in the driveway and I sighed ready for the upcoming battle.

I opened the door and saw Charlie sitting at the table, his face in his hands, his hair in every direction. He looked up at me and sighed, but before he could yell at me I spoke.

"Dad, I'm back."

_AN: _Yeah, short. I know. But it's so meaningful...


	7. Q and A

**Is this the end?**

No, there will be a sequel called Love is a Battlefield. Do you see the theme in titles... if not ya'll don't know your music and you suck. C: It takes place in the future. The first chapter basically sums up all the major events that will happen in the next 7 years I think... I'm a little afraid about writing someone so much older than me but hopefully it'll be fine.

Basically Bella and Jake are married and have twin girls, a letter comes from the Volturi- yes, I know Bella doesn't know anything about them, I'm smart, I'll figure out how to get around that. Anyway, the letter comes and she is asked to visit them. A plot ensues.

Yes, that line from Bella saying that there aren't anymore vampires out to get her was foreshadow.

((Up now.))

**He offered marriage AND change and nothing?!**

I think the decision for Bella to stay with Jake was a very personal decision on my part... I don't forgive easily. I'd much rather have someone physically scar me than emotionally and mentally scar me like Edward does to Bella. BUT, if Bella hadn't discovered what she had with Jake she so would have gone Edward.

Also, when I began writing this story I wasn't sure which way it was going... so, hopefully I didn't do any foreshadowing that Bella was gonna choose Edward.

**What does Charlie think about the age difference and Bella spending the night?**

He's fine with it... as fine as a father can be. He's happy to see his daughter happy. And Bella is 18... it's really Billy who should be worried... Bella's kinda robbing the cradle. Ha ha.

I guess he's kinda torn, he's glad Bella is happy again but he doesn't want Jake or Bella to get hurt. But he still trusts both of them.

Jake knows he has a gun, werewolf or not... would you screw with the sheriff's daughter... oh, no pun intended... sorta.

((Please note Charlie's reaction to Bella going to Florida with Edward in Eclipse, it's obvious he would be fine with Jake going with her.))

**Canada?**

Yeah... Canada... it's cold... it's north... it's close to Forks... maybe I was watching a commercial for Canadian bacon when I was writing...


End file.
